Stepping Outside of My Prison
It’s been six years since I last ate a humungous not as natural as can be natural chicken burrito from Chipotle.
Today is the day I end that streak. I’m doing this to celebrate raising $11,000 for the documentary and thank Daniel Durrant for all of his help so far. He’s moving to the UK soon for an internship, :`(
I feel wonderful, my gut feels calm, my mind feels excited and anxious. This morning when looking at the Chipotle menu, I began salivating even though I was eating breakfast at the same time.
What will happen if I eat the burrito and nothing bad happens? Does this mean I will go off SCD and return to the SAD (Standard American Diet)?
Two words, f’ that.
I love eating healthy, I love cooking and so this little gastrointestinal experiment has one purpose. To test how healed my intestines are. If I can tolerate this one meal off SCD then that to me means my intestines are much more healed than they were before SCD and supplementation.
It will give me the confidence I need to travel on short trips and eat food off of my preferred diet. Without the ability to do that, my freedom to see the world is limited.
My attempts to heal myself are to restore the kind of freedom I used to have, but never took advantage of. With bowel conditions, that freedom is robbed of us and we feel like we are a prisoner inside of our bodies. Not only that, but this prison is a torture chamber.
I no longer feel like my body is a torture chamber. I’m just not sure I can leave this prison yet… but today is a step outside to see what happens.